So once again I find myself (the real me, not other me) recommitting to my blogging efforts. This should make time #72 that I have had to do this but this time I am not just coming back to blogging, I am coming back as a mom. This doesn’t mean that every post will be a brag fest about my new arrival. Though there is already so much to tell you. For instance yesterday Harley did the cutest thing…OMG, you are going to die when you hear this…wait…I’m doing it already. Okay, okay, okay…she will be a part of this blog. How could she not be? But I did make a promise with myself (and other me) that stories of poopy diapers and my role as a mom wouldn’t completely monopolize the blog. Though I am sure motherhood will influence my blogging ideas and afford many opportunities and much fodder for future posts. Besides Mr. S has already purchased Harley’s own domain where I can brag all I want and display an exhausting amount of photos proving to all of you that I have the cutest baby. Ever.

So without further ado I am happy to introduce what I’ve been up to for the past 9 months – Harley Rose Storms.

Born April 30, 2011 – 6 lbs, 13 oz – 19 inches long

Though 5 weeks later she already looks like this:

Told you she is SUPER cute!

When I phoned Mr. S to tell him about the appointment he was less than excited about the idea of our puppy, our male puppy, being without what he considers to be his whole identity. We talked briefly while I did my best to reassure Mr. S that Kingston wouldn’t know the difference, then hung up our phones and got back to work. A few minutes later my phone rang again. It was Mr. S, and our conversation went something like this-

“Hi, babe. What’s up”

“Two things. First, promise you won’t laugh. Second, does the place we are taking Kingston do implants?”

(Unfortunately before I was even able to respond I was laughing hysterically, under my breath of course.)

“Implants? You want our dog to get testicular implants? Do they even do that?”

“Yes, Robyn. Will you call them back and ask them?”

“I am not paying to get Kingston implants. If you want to find out, give them a call. Just don’t tell them you know me.” (Still laughing)

“Fine. What’s the number?”

Mr. S did call them and I quickly did a little research to see if people actually gave their four-legged friends implants. Turns out they do, and they are called Neuticles. It’s catchy. But I’m still not paying to have them attached to our dog. Later that night Mr. S gave me the synopsis of his phone call. Turns out they had a hard time not laughing either.

It all manifested itself yesterday afternoon at the dog park. Kingston was his normal self, running around and trying to engage every dog in the park to play with him regardless of their size. He soon became fond of a particular miniature schnauzer and was playing nicely so I left the dog sitting to Mr. S and started reading my book. A few minutes later my reading was interrupted by Mr. S calling my name and telling me to look up. As I did I didn’t know whether to laugh or apologize to the schnauzer. Locked tightly around the back end of the schnauzer was my puppy. And from the looks of it he was having a very good time. When Mr. S went to remove Kingston he held on even tighter. It was quite a sight seeing him work to pry our puppy off of the now violated schnauzer.

What’s ironic is that just that morning Mr. S had told me of the neutering he had witnessed the night before while watching an episode of Rescue Ink and he wasn’t sure if we should inflict that kind of humiliation and pain on Kingston. Men. Kingston turns 6 months old this week and it seems there is no time like the present to make that appointment. I think after yesterday’s incident at the dog park Mr. S now agrees.

So what do we do?

Mr. S decided to ask around. And by ask around I mean seek out suggestions from his Twitter followers. One suggestion that seemed like a good idea was to coat the adored object (in this case our chair legs) with hot sauce.  I even found a website backing up this option. With the promise that “one taste is all your dog needs to learn his lesson.” The result? Kingston couldn’t have been happier. He licked off every last bit and continued licking Mr. S’ hands until he was sure he had got it all.

I guess being born on Cinco de Mayo has had a bigger effect on him than we thought.