Behold, The Cone Of Shame!

Kingston has been occupying a lot of my blog posts lately, but I guess like any parent who loves their child I will continue to inundate you with updates on mine. And yes, I do realize he is not a human, but for now he is the only “child” I have.I meant to post this picture for last week’s Snapshot Sunday, but I didn’t. Between dinner with friends and the Golden Globes, it never happened. So for those who are curious, Kingston came out of surgery just fine. And no, he did not get neuticles. I told Mr. S that one day we will have a strapping son (the human kind) and I will let him keep his manhood intact.

An Odd Case Of Who Knew

I made the appointment a couple of days ago. You know, THE appointment. The one Kingston is not going to like, but the one that a few dogs at the dog park are going to thank me for. I’d put it off long enough but it’s time to take care of a little problem. Or in this case, two little problems. I’m just not sure who is going to take it worse – Kingston or Mr. S.

When I phoned Mr. S to tell him about the appointment he was less than excited about the idea of our puppy, our male puppy, being without what he considers to be his whole identity. We talked briefly while I did my best to reassure Mr. S that Kingston wouldn’t know the difference, then hung up our phones and got back to work. A few minutes later my phone rang again. It was Mr. S, and our conversation went something like this-

“Hi, babe. What’s up”

“Two things. First, promise you won’t laugh. Second, does the place we are taking Kingston do implants?”

(Unfortunately before I was even able to respond I was laughing hysterically, under my breath of course.)

“Implants? You want our dog to get testicular implants? Do they even do that?”

“Yes, Robyn. Will you call them back and ask them?”

“I am not paying to get Kingston implants. If you want to find out, give them a call. Just don’t tell them you know me.” (Still laughing)

“Fine. What’s the number?”

Mr. S did call them and I quickly did a little research to see if people actually gave their four-legged friends implants. Turns out they do, and they are called Neuticles. It’s catchy. But I’m still not paying to have them attached to our dog. Later that night Mr. S gave me the synopsis of his phone call. Turns out they had a hard time not laughing either.

Our Boy Becomes A Man

Looking at this picture of Kingston he looks innocent enough, right? There he is wearing his Halloween bandana, posing for the camera as if he knows just how adorable he is. And he is. But what you don’t see lurking behind those big, brown, puppy dog eyes is that he is about to enter into manhood. Don’t feel bad. I didn’t see it coming either.

It all manifested itself yesterday afternoon at the dog park. Kingston was his normal self, running around and trying to engage every dog in the park to play with him regardless of their size. He soon became fond of a particular miniature schnauzer and was playing nicely so I left the dog sitting to Mr. S and started reading my book. A few minutes later my reading was interrupted by Mr. S calling my name and telling me to look up. As I did I didn’t know whether to laugh or apologize to the schnauzer. Locked tightly around the back end of the schnauzer was my puppy. And from the looks of it he was having a very good time. When Mr. S went to remove Kingston he held on even tighter. It was quite a sight seeing him work to pry our puppy off of the now violated schnauzer.

What’s ironic is that just that morning Mr. S had told me of the neutering he had witnessed the night before while watching an episode of Rescue Ink and he wasn’t sure if we should inflict that kind of humiliation and pain on Kingston. Men. Kingston turns 6 months old this week and it seems there is no time like the present to make that appointment. I think after yesterday’s incident at the dog park Mr. S now agrees.

Kingston likes it Hot, HOT, HOT!

Like any new puppy owners, we are trying to figure out what works for us when it comes to disciplining Kingston. He has become quite fond of the plastic chair mat we have in the office and oftentimes will lie on it even if one of us isn’t in the room. I’m guessing it is cooler than carpet during the hot days. And I don’t mind. It’s one of the few places that will be easy to clean if there is a puppy potty training mishap. The part I do mind is that he has also become a fan of chewing on the legs and wheels of our office chair.

So what do we do?

Mr. S decided to ask around. And by ask around I mean seek out suggestions from his Twitter followers. One suggestion that seemed like a good idea was to coat the adored object (in this case our chair legs) with hot sauce.  I even found a website backing up this option. With the promise that “one taste is all your dog needs to learn his lesson.” The result? Kingston couldn’t have been happier. He licked off every last bit and continued licking Mr. S’ hands until he was sure he had got it all.

I guess being born on Cinco de Mayo has had a bigger effect on him than we thought.